Posted on December 3, 2024

Helping Older Siblings Feel Included and Connected: Reducing Jealousy During Big Changes

Welcoming a new baby into the family is an exciting milestone, but for older siblings, it can be a challenging transition. Feelings of jealousy or uncertainty are common as they adjust to sharing their parents' attention. Thankfully, there are simple strategies to help older siblings feel included and connected, reducing jealousy and building a strong sibling bond from the start.

Before the baby is born, involve older siblings in age-appropriate conversations about what to expect. Show them ultrasound pictures, let them feel the baby kicking, and read books about becoming an older sibling. Giving them time to process the upcoming changes helps reduce feelings of surprise or exclusion.

Assign Special “Big Sibling” Roles

Make older siblings feel important by giving them specific “big sibling” tasks. Depending on their age, they can help fetch diapers, sing to the baby, or hold the baby under supervision. Framing these responsibilities as special privileges reinforces their role as a valuable part of the family.

Schedule One-on-One Time

It’s easy to get caught up in caring for a newborn, but dedicating time to each older child—even if it’s just 10-15 minutes a day—can make a big difference. Play their favorite game, read a book together, or talk about their day to show that they’re still a priority.

Celebrate Their Role

Acknowledge and praise older siblings for their efforts, whether it’s being gentle with the baby, helping out, or showing patience. Celebrating their contributions boosts their confidence and fosters a positive attitude toward their new sibling.

Encourage Open Communication

Create a safe space for older siblings to share their feelings, even if they’re struggling with jealousy or frustration. Validating their emotions and reassuring them that it’s okay to feel this way can prevent negative feelings from building up.

Create Bonding Opportunities

Find ways for older siblings to interact with the baby that feel meaningful to them. They could read a story, help during tummy time, or simply hold the baby’s hand. These moments create positive associations and strengthen their connection.

Keep Routines Consistent

Amid the changes a new baby brings, maintaining familiar routines for older siblings can provide a sense of stability. Keeping up with their regular activities, bedtime rituals, or family traditions helps them feel secure and reassured.

Involve Them in Milestones

Let older siblings be part of milestones like the baby’s first bath, first photo shoot, or even decorating the nursery. Feeling included in these special moments reduces the chance of jealousy and makes them feel valued.

Final Thoughts

A new baby can be both a joy and an adjustment for older siblings. By involving them, celebrating their role, and nurturing their connection with the baby, you can create a positive and harmonious family dynamic. These early efforts to reduce jealousy and build bonds will lay the foundation for a lifelong sibling relationship filled with love and mutual respect.

If you’re looking for more guidance or hands-on support during this transition, Gentle Landing offers personalized in-home postpartum care to help the entire family thrive during this special time.